Baby Contemplations

2006_0317Image0112
Originally uploaded by globalgirl246.

Today is your 2 month mark. Time passes as it inevitably does. I go back to work in two weeks. I will miss you! It is good though for Nathan to have this time with you. He hasn't had a whole lot yet.

There have been times when you are tired, or have woken prematurely from sleeping, and I've caressed your face and spoken softly and you'll drift to sleep. Your nature is calm, happy and observant.

B-E-S-O-T-T-E-D.

That is the word I thought of today that describes my feelings with a flourish! I become more and more besotted with you each day! I want to do all things that will be for your good. You will love your time here on earth. I want to capture all that you do -- the gestures, noises, scents, the size of you -- all that tugs at my heartstrings. The conversations we have (you are so verbal!), how clear and lovely your face is and the way you lift your chin up, the shape your mouth takes, the delicate way you blink your eyes... besotted.

How will you ever remember? I am your mirror. I pray I never forget.

You must feel how greatly your brother wants to love you. He's still learning how to express it. I coach and encourage him with gladness. He is an affectionate boy and I know that you will always be grateful for the love your brother has shown you. I know that he will always be grateful to have loved you. He desperately wants to love and hasn't quite found obliging peers (who can handle such bear hugs at this age?!) You, I feel, will fill that and return it.

I am so grateful to be a woman -- a mother enabled by womanhood.


-- a composite of journal entries.