Desi Candor

And, anyway, mom why did you name me Desmond?!

I love me.

While sitting in the tub filled with bubbles one morning, Des calls out in perfect deadpan, “Does anyone know where the bathroom is?”

Someday I wanna be a firefighter and cook dinner for my kids.

I love banana’s they’re my favorite food in the histories.

Are you going to give me a kiss Zoe? I’m your big brother!

Remember the neighbors downstairs! You screamed too loud mom!

Zoe and me are cool. You are pretty.

mmmm. . . that juice is good! Cran-apple makes me jig.

Mom you look so fantastic even though you only have your underwear on.

After adding a bit of gel to Desi’s hair and styling it like Superman the following overexcited ramble followed: “Wow! Cool for real! Will Dad think it’s cool? Don’t touch my Superman hair, okay Zo? Do you want Superman hair? Do you Zo?” Zo replied instantly with a flat “No!” To which Des, now disheartened, simply said, “Oh . . . “

I eat every day. Why don’t I grow into a big man?

One morning I asked Des what his favorite creature on earth was. He said, “Rat, Cows, Rhinoceros’, and Seahorses.”

I’m gonna flap my wings, slap my pants and walk on my head

I have more Spiderman-confidence after my dream.

When I grow up, I’ll be called Nate.

Mom, I was talking to Jesus. Spiderman was broken so I was talking to him about that.

I was pushing the babes one at a time in the swings at the playground trying to do a balanced job. “Push me mom,” Des demanded. “In a minute,” I replied. To which he barked, “Immediately!”

Excuse me, my bumbum burped.

After tipping over the garbage can late one afternoon, Des declared confidently as he knelt down to start clean up, “I can do everything – I can do everything that is hard.” When he finished he decided to take out the garbage and drop it down the shoot. I asked him if he needed help. He answered, “I need zero help!” Then he paused just outside the door, confidence deflating, it was too quiet out there. “Mom, I’m scared!” So I stood at the door while he dumped the garbage down the hall, 5 feet away.

While setting up a little baseball practice in the park ball fields one morning, Des pointed to a base and said, “Here’s the human plate.”

“I’m trying to help you bring happiness!” Des explained after I refused to agree to a toy buying scheme. It was all so simple: buy him toys bring joy and happiness into the world.

I’m saving this little treat for my imaginary friends. They don’t have dinner teeth they just have treat teeth. We have both, they only have one.

After being repeatedly pummeled by Zoe, Des finally shouts, hand outstretched in front of him, “Stop! I have the power of Jesus!”

I love you Porter.

Let’s pretend Zoe is Chloe (a dog in the extended family) and you’re Auntie Gena and I’m Uncle Buff!

Zoe is a fun babe right now – she’s not crying!

Mom! You have a cookbook-tionary!

Zoe’s so cute and funny isn’t she?

I dropped something of Desi’s and as I was picking it up, I muttered, “Forgive me.” To which he immediately responded, “Yeah, I am! I love you so much!”

Des: Mom? Do you love me even when I do bad things?
Me: Yes, I do! Heavenly Father does too! and I want to be like him and I will love you forever!
Des: Mom . . . I like you most when you do bad things too!
Me: . . .

During a pizza and rootbeer Saturday evening Des observed, “Soda makes my body a little bit not healthy – maybe this wasn’t a very good idea. . . [long pause] . . . more please mommy, more please!”

I’m so wakeful and sleepy!

I’m not going potty cause I don’t feel potty.

Mom, I’m gonna tell the whole world that you’re a good mom!