Patient Parenting

Does everyone feel this way? You know, that your children are CRAZY?! I had a moment the other night when we were out with our friend, Victoria, where I felt true powerlessness to curb, moderate, control or STOP them from going completely out of control.

We had been out walking, enjoying the sunshine and the water and the fountains. We came upon this low red rock wall and as Des climbed up onto it, we noticed that the bright brick-red color of the rock rubbed right off onto his hands and clothes. He immediately began to rub his hands all over the rocks. He then wiped his hands all over his face. RED SMEARS. Then Zoe joined in and did the same thing, not leaving her clothes untouched. I was earnestly advising from the sidelines, my pitch going up, my voice becoming more and more frantic . . .

Mom? Who’s Mom? What is a Mom?

I was utterly unheeded. I was ignored. I was the wind in the willows. I was less than red dust smeared onto freckled cheeks.

I was too adult.

Victoria was beside me, at first fascinated, she let out little squeaks of surprised laughter. As I bellowed, as I plead, she became more delighted – she curled, she jumped, she eventually, joyfully, laughed and reached for her camera.

So I’m left to wonder about my will verses theirs. The Indigo Girls have this song called, “Deconstruction” one of the verses reads like this: Sculpted from youth/The chipping away/Makes me weary.

I’m weary with chipping.

My developing theory, based on experience and a wish for better parenting, is that it takes time for the countless values and rules to be processed by little minds virtually blank of the nuances of appropriate behavior. It’s a slow accumulation, like the ideas of Patient Capital – where investments are not aggressive ones demanding immediate profitable returns. But are more patient, generous reserves that prosper slowly and sustainably and that ultimately benefit more than just self.

Oh, and sometimes it’s good just to laugh.

Vika with Zoe – with a formidable person approaching in the background!

Arghhhh . . . TACKLED!

We are creatures out of your control!! Waaahaaaaa!

Here we are finally in front of our apartment building. We had to take a 25minute bus ride home after the incident. It was scandalous and rollicking good fun all the way . . . for them that is.